Season 4 Week 3 (Kyler Murray is not 5'10'' Edition)
So guys, we have a real problem on our hands. People are lying about EVERYTHING in the NFL. It’s its own pandemic honestly. After careful research I have found the most egregious offenders.
Kyler Murray is NOT 5’10”. He is more like 5’7” or 5’8” (I would know).
Matt Patricia is a sentient bag of moldy packing peanuts. Open your eyes.
Baker Mayfield isn’t even a baker!! Where are his sourdough recipes??
Cincinnati isn’t a real town. Has anyone even been there?
Phillip Rivers is actually terrified of water. Who would have thought.
To move forward as a nation, we need to stop this type of lying NOW. It only hurts those around us and breaks trust that we may never repair. Also, Kyler come on dude we have the same arm length and I have really short arms. You aren’t taller than me. Stop with the lie. Being a short king tearing it up in the NFL is already dope. Just be honest with yourself.
Sick jorts btw
Week 3 has some really great games instore for us!
Our one true Frat Savior travels to Arizona to take on the Kyler Murray and the Cardinals. If it was a beer chugging contest, we’d win before even walking through the door. Unfortunately it’s not, and our coach would rather chug bleach before altering his precious little scheme. So it’s another L for your boys.
The Steelers host the Texans, and Bill O’Brien’s fake chin. Can Deshaun turn it around against the Steelers. Why is Big Ben?
THE Washington Football Team takes their honestly spectacular new name to Cleveland to take on my new hero, Nick Chubb. If Chase Young and Nick Chubb were to get into a fight, who would eat whom first? Predator vs Beef Tank?
TO THE BETS
Here’s to another successful week!! The former roommates are once again duking it out for 1st Place!!
Also if anyone knows linear algebra, PLEASE help a brother out.
