Nov 15

Nov 15 Week 11 Results

In the home stretch now fellas (ladies). That means every single game, every single action, has that much more significance. This is what we prepared all year for!! Are you a closer? Will get that cookie? Or are you a big, bubble-blowin’ baby??

I know I’m somewhere in between. I blow bubbles on occasion. And on others, I crush my enemies into a fine mill-like flour. Why do you think sugar cookies are that color? Exactly.

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I gotta let y’all in on a little secret.

Davenport sucks.

A school whose campus was basically made to be a glorified truck stop isn’t a prestigious academic institution?? Shocking I know. Oh they also made the jump too quickly from literally having no football program to D2 Football in the span of two years wasn’t thought out thoroughly? No way!!! But hey thanks for giving us a easy cap to our season before the playoffs. Your GVSU FOOTBALL LAKERS ARE THE GLIAC CHAMPIONS ONCE AGAIN!!

RINGS ERNEH!!!!

Ok back to my other undefeated team.

The Buckeyes snatched up that W against Indiana faster than Benj when he sees a bottle of Blanton’s. Also we can run the ball even with me suiting up in the backfield apparently. Huh.

Michigan handled business while I was out thrift shopping. I found some sick sweatshirts, but Michigan has still not found their passing game.

MSU IS ON A WINNING STREAK!!!! That’s now $5.4 million per win for Tuck! What a bargain!!

Penn State whooped Maryland so bad it looked like they were shaming the Terrapins for sharing the same field. Franklin The Turtle > Terrapins.

WESTERN AND CMU PLAY TOMORROW NIGHT. MACTION IN ITS PUREST FORM. Uh oh my fingers are getting crooked all of a sudden. The urge is getting too strong at this point. It’s Broncos Gang in here! Fuck the Chips!! Let’s Ride.

NFL Time

BUILD THE ENTIRE LIONS DEFENSE OUT OF HUTCHINSONS AND OKUDAHS. I couldn’t be happier with this result. My favorite players balled out on both teams, and the Lions still got a dub. Playoffs here we come, GIMME THAT KOOL-AID.

Steelers still exist, and the Browns probably shouldn’t.

RESULTS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…hahahahahahahahaha

haha

FUCK!

Your Week 11 winner is:

Jonathan

Third week in a row! I’m hurt. Jonny went 3-7, but got the Big Huge and won $0.71.

In 2nd is Kevin! KEVINNNNNNNN!!! Kevin also got the Big Huge! He went 3-7 and won $0.39.

In 3rd is Kait!! She went .500 AGAIN. No one is more consistent honestly. Reminds me of the 2006-2014 Detroit Tigers. Consistently great and always finishing 2nd. She went 5-5 and won $0.15.

In 4th is Christopher! The Falcons are most definitely wearing off on him at this point. He went 3-7 and lost $0.03.

In 5th is Nick! Oof! He went 3-7 and lost $0.13.

In 6th is Me. I’m feelin bad! I went 3-7 and lost $0.27.

🚨 WARNING! JOHN L. SMITH ZONE AHEAD 🚨

In 7th is Ethan. You’d think a man employed by Pfizer would be…wiser. He went 2-8 and lost $0.41.

In 8th is Benj. Being an incredible father has very much taken a toll on his cognitive abilities this week. But that’s what no sleep will do to a guy. Hope Lilly and Ella feel better. But hey at least Lilly is learning her destined path of being an All-American Left Tackle early on. Benj went 2-8 and lost $0.71

ERROR 404 SULLY NOT FOUND (Penalty of -$0.72)

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Benj and I are off to the Big House to watch the #1 Defense and #1 Running Back in the country! So excited to see what Chase Brown and the Illini defense have in store for the Wolverines.

Results are below!