Week 5 (Wear Are You Edition)
Funny thing this time of year. Not quite that cold, but makes you think about those Fall fits. What it’s done for me is make me think about all the hoodies and sweatshirts I’ve had and either lost, had them stolen (many), or left behind because my brain is made of warm apple butter.
Somewhere between Lake Michigan and State College, my Penn State quarter zip is flying at 30,000 feet in the hopes that it reaches me safely. Thankfully Kait came to the rescue of the Q Zip, but I need to pause and take a moment to pay respects to its brothers who weren’t so lucky.
RIP GVSU crewneck.
RIP Post Malone crewneck.
RIP Champion hoodie.
RIP scarlet OSU crewneck.
RIP waffle knit Abercrombie hoodie.
Rest in pieces Cursed OSU gray crewneck (I’ll see you in hell motherfuck)
RIP to my 2014 Ohio State National Champions long sleeve (😭😥😭😭😭)
Thank you.
Now that we have acknowledged the past it’s time to look ahead. That’s right, WTS Bets hoodies are being ordered this week!!! If you sent in your payment, you should see your hoodie in the next few weeks! Don’t lose this one or you’ll be cursed to finish last in WTSB forever. Or if you’re Benj or Kevin, business as usual.
***
I miss you
SHOWTIME
Currently wiping tears from my eyes, but let’s get to that football!!
First up:
BIG NOON SATURDAY ft. Michigan vs. Iowa.
More power to Benj for even turning this game on, but if he’s able to sit through it without getting crippling indigestion, then he may be indestructible.
Next in line we have an attempt (generous) at football when MSU travels to Maryland. Will NFTuck score more than 2 (???) touchdowns? Can MSU’s defense allow fewer than 1,000 yards? Can you get dementia from just watching a Scott Hazelton defense?
Also at 3:30 we have the MAIN EVENT!!
BUTTGER
YOUR THE OHIO STATE BUCKEYES
ME
CHRISTOPHER
JONNY
UNCLE STEVE????
Will the game be fun? Idk. Where are we sitting? No clue. Where are we getting drinks before the game? Don’t ask me. But I do have the answer for the most important question: Will my outfit go crazy? A million percent yes. I have my Saturday fit already laid out and it’s a mighty good one. V thankful for Bre introducing me to thrifting.
NFL x WTS Bets
“One who is injured ought not to return the injury, for on no account can it be right to do an injustice; and it is not right to return an injury, or to do evil to any man, however much we have suffered from him.”
Socrates was always wise, but he never watched all of his favorite football players get cursed by God. Or maybe he did? I guess there’s a reason he wasn’t a huge fan of His.
So all of the Lions’ starters on both offense and defense are injured and somehow Vegas still believes we’re gonna beat the Seahawks?? Yes the line has now fallen to -4.5 but how do they think we’re still gonna win?? This is how I lose money betting.
Down in Christopher’s city, our Lake Erie Acquaintances take on the Falcons. I am glad Christopher isn’t working this game because the less Falcons exposure the better tbh.
And finally, the Jets (who might have the best helmets in the NFL) travel to Grand Rapids Fin Tech Company Acrisure Stadium in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to flip a coin against the Steelers. For real, the Steelers are so unpredictable. What exactly is Mitch Trubisky?
