Season 4 Week 13 (On Fumes Edition)

Back again! However, we are without both Ohio State, U of M, and The Game. The Big Ten season is puttering, gasping, crawling to the finish line. This season reminds me of the influential high school assigned reading, Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. The Big Ten season is Lennie, and we are George.

Thanks to the idiotic and arbitrary rules set in place by B1G leadership at the beginning of this season, another controversy arose. The only conference in the country that demanded a games played minimum found out why that was not beneficial to the conference, or teams. Grateful that they came around to the same realization that we all had in September.

We also have some good news from this: Ohio State is in the Big Ten Championship Game!! (What a surprise). Although many are up in arms for our beloved WINDIANA, they had their chance. I do hope our plucky underdogs roll whoever they face in a bowl though.

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Cheer up though everyone! We still have……MSU Football? <Vomits up a black hole>

WEEK 12

Ok so we can get through this y’all. Yes it’s MSU, and yes it feels like rolling marble slabs over your toes when you watch them, but they have new helmets? Gruff Sparty reminds me of my childhood, and dusting our entire neighborhood in football. So it’s not all bad. Remember LARPing?

NFL x WTS BETS

The NFL has some bangers this week to save us! Even though the Lions are depleted with KG, Okudah, and Swift all still out, we have our Rocket Laser Arm QB to lead us. Let’s make the playoffs since our draft position is already screwed. Wisconsin cheese is incredibly overrated. Also what kind of vile creatures just eat cheese on its own?

The Steelers have a tough task against the sneakiest QB in the league (He’s white and can run)! Josh Allen is actually pretty good, but when he makes a mistake it is slapstick comedy level. Let’s hope we see some Three Stooges out there.

But we saved the best game for last! The former MVP is reeling this year, and the Ravens have to Rely on their rookies to get the job done this year. JK Dobbins is an absolute monster, and is very fast??? Obviously we are pulling for our Brownies, but I wouldn’t be mad if JK went off for 200yds and 3 TDs in a W for Cleveland. Also, John Dorsey is in talks to become the newest Lions GM. Chris, any good opinions? Nothing can honestly be worse than some of our previous GMs, and he has shown to be able to draft well. So, if he can give us our own Tyreek Hill, Patrick Maholmes, Nick Chubb, and others, I would be so happy.

Do you guys have your Christmas shopping done yet?

Do you think my girlfriend will be cool with gift cards? Pls help.

TO THE BETS

Avoid Eggnog, and accountants.