Season 4 Week 9 (Sweater Weather Edition)

Hey, so, is there anything significant going on this week? There’s been a lot of chatter about something, but I can’t quite remember….

Oh RIGHT!! It’s Christopher’s birthday celebration! Now I remember. Whew ok I can calm down now.

Happy Birthday, Christopher!! He is hitting The Quarter! It’s a great year, and also the only amount of time the Lions can stay competitive. Are the Lions a team or an abusive spouse? Both make you want to run away. Thank Christ we have college football back. (Benj you may thank Satan). The only thing that would make it better is if the Lions played on Saturday and THE BUCKEYES played on Sunday so we could end on a high note.

How many points would a Matt Patricia Defense give up against a CFB Powerhouse? A decent team? A MAC school? We don’t want these questions answered because it would cause Lions fans to reenact the final scene of Kingsmen.

Join me, Dad.

PRIMETIME ON BTN! It’s the juggernaut versus the undead. The Flash vs. Captain Boomerang. Batman vs. Calendar Man (yes I’m aware this is a Nerd Alert). Can Rutgers get a few good hits in? Or will Ohio State make an example of them like Thanos did to The Vision? Give us the stone, Rutgers.

The Ivy League of The Midwest™ travels just past Kevin’s neck of the woods to play a real football school. Can Indiana claim another Top 25 victory? Will Harbaugh wear Lululemon again? Can Michigan? Will Michigan? Why Michigan?

MSU plays Iowa to see who is still the REAL Farm School. Who has crazier country boys, Iowa or Michigan? Well our CCB’s have now done two (2) confirmed domestic terrorisms. Where’s my lifted truck? I’m late to my cousin-sister’s birthday party. (MSU has crazier everything btw).

TO THE BETS

We’ve had a long week y’all. Let’s try to unplug, unwind, and do something that makes us happy this weekend. Try not to internalize too much, and let’s control how things make us feel. Because, in the long run, the Lions and Browns will always let us down.