Week 8 Results
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Woooooo boy. Michigan, I mean this sincerely, you have outdone yourselves on this one. Not only did you lose to MSU AGAIN, but you lost as 24 point favorites against a Spartan team that just got spanked by Rutgers. RUTGERS. I’m not sure what happened to Don Brown, but I think he is actively trying to retire on the sideline. I think this may actually be the beginning of the end for Harbaugh unless he hits some serious home runs with staff hires this coming offseason.
Speaking of home runs, Ohio State’s offense is nothing but big plays! Our WR corps is probably the best in the country at this point. Olave, Wilson, and Smith-Njigba will all get drafted in the 1st Round of the NFL Draft. And I haven’t even mentioned Jameson Williams who might run a 4.2 Forty. Hopefully our defense continues to come together, and the loss of Cam Brown in the Secondary doesn’t hurt us too badly.
Also, LOL Penn State is big trash. Are we sure Keegan-Michael Key didn’t actually replace James Franklin? Because damn are they funny to watch. WE ARE buns.
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I am going to keep our NFL recap short, with a poem.
Roses are red
I’ve been doing a lot of cryin’
Why don’t we just disband the Lions
Holy fuck we are still just so bad. Also Browns :(
Good job Steelers. Again….times 7.
THE RETURN OF SULLY: 2 ACCOUNTING 2 STRESSFUL
He seems to be almost as absent as Baker Mayfield’s talent, but when he’s here, he balls!
Your Week 8 Winner is
Jonny!!
That’s right, #1 moves even further ahead, winning $0.80! At this point I’m wondering if Jonathan is actually influencing games in his favor.
In 2nd is ASAAAAAAP. Sully makes his triumphant return (AGAIN!!), winning $0.44. He is super busy with work, but he can still pencil in a W here and there.
In 3rd this week is me! I won a modest $0.19 and got really drunk outside for 12 hours. Completely worth it! I am still hungover! I love getting old!
In 4th is Kait! She won $0.14! It must have been so hard for her going to high school with the people from The Hills Have Eyes. Good thing she only has to worry about Penn State once a year now. You’re so strong girl.
In 5th is Christopher! He lost $0.04, but had a banger of a costume on Saturday. So it completely makes up for it. How many shots did we do? I forget.
In 6th is Kevin! He also lost $0.04, but also lost more questions than Christopher. But I know he doesn’t give a single fuck about this because MSU BEAT MICHIGAN AFTER LOSING TO RUTGERS 🤣🤣🤣
Finally, in last (how fitting at this point) is Benjamin. He lost $0.40. Our intrepid pianist put too much faith in Jim Harbaugh yet again, and it has only brought more suffering…………….do hear that? Oh god…..the call to become an Ohio State fan is growing stronger!….Hide, Benj! Success is right behind you!!
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Next week starts tomorrow because THE MAC IS B A C K!! Western plays Akron, and CMU hosts Ohio! Get those good shots, Christopher. Also, try not to get run over.
Ohio State hosts Rutgers (trap game?), Michigan plays a higher ranked Indiana, and MSU travels to Iowa to play in possibly the most boring football game ever.
I’m not talking about the NFL, I am sad. Go Steelers?
Results are below.
Rank | Team | W | L | T | $$ |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 6 | 3 | 1 | $0.80 | |
2 | 5 | 4 | 1 | $0.44 | |
3 | 4 | 5 | 1 | $0.19 | |
4 | 6 | 3 | 1 | $0.14 | |
5 | 4 | 5 | 1 | -$0.04 | |
6 | 3 | 6 | 1 | -$0.04 | |
7 | 3 | 6 | 1 | -$0.40 |