Nov 10

Nov 10 Week 9 Results

Alright so some seasons are over already. I have no chance at winning WTS Season 4, MSU has packed it in, and Michigan is following their academic leaders by scuttling 2020 and looking at 2021. Michigan is playing 6D Holographic Chess by losing in such embarrassing ways, that it forces their fanbase to focus on something other than football, like staying safe, the real world, and current events. They are truly the big brain boys. Also, *ahem* WINDIANA.

We are now Talkin’ ‘bout The Bucks. Our Buckeyes looked like the CFP team we had hoped for in the 1st Half against Rutgers. However, Rutgers found that we had no idea what a trick play was and came the closest to upsetting us they ever have as a member of the B1G. I mean could you imagine? Losing to Rutgers? Also, Chris Olave is Jesus, Justin Fields is the Lord, and Ryan Day is the Holy Ghost (actually that might be Urban Meyer).

MSU…………guys. Please. My eyes.

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This week was the first time all year Kait got to feel a portion of what we all feel when watching our NFL teams. Pure, unrelenting anguish. A feeling so strong, that in some cases it feels like your whole body has turned into Silly Putty and is being forced back into a container that is much too small. But, unlike us, she finished the game feeling somewhat ok as the Steelers still won. The Cowboys should stop this madness and put in Cooper Rush already.

The Browns had a bye this week, mercifully.

At this point in my life, I no longer have relationships that are detrimental to me and my mental health. Except one. Except the Lions. However, I am beginning to see the light. Why watch a team that clearly hates us? Why have the joy sucked from your body every Sunday like it’s raining on your birthday? We don’t watch the Pistons anymore for this exact reason. If we bring Patricia back next year, I will renounce my fandom for the Lions and become a Baltimore Ravens fan. As they have the most GVSU players on their roster (tied with the Chiefs so I may swing that way as well).

Speaking of terrible performances, this was our worst week yet!! I mean it was a total bloodbath. ONE person finished in the black this week. Everyone else lost money, and some lost A LOT of money. We had 3 people finish 1-9, and our boy Kevin went 0-9 but won The Big Huge.

Your Week 9 winner is:

Kait

She was our only player to win anything this week! She won $0.12! Also, she is the only player to still have an above .500 record at this point in the season. She currently sits at 41-40-4. So you don’t need to be upset about The Big Huge anymore, Kait.

In 2nd is Kevin! He went 1-9 and finished in 2nd lmao. He lost $0.05 and won The Big Huge which saved him from losing an Edmund Fitzgerald amount of money this week. I don’t want you to have to pawn a watch to stay in the league big fella.

In 3rd is Jonny! He lost $0.08. The main goal is still in reach though. Still 1st Overall, but now he has to fend off his girlfriend. Good thing they won’t be living together when the season ends.

In 4th is Christopher! He lost $0.11. The Birthday Boy started with some ✨ Birthday Magic ✨ , but it wore off rather quickly. Still did way better than the people behind him though.

In 5th is Benj! He also went 1-9 and lost $0.46. The Piano Man was very offkey this week. Get it together, this is your livelihood.

In 6th is Giraffe! He lost an incredible $0.69. The Browns gave Chris their magic this week since they were resting, and honestly that was very kind of them. He is also now behind Kait and is 3rd Overall.

Finally, WAYYYYY in last place, is Matthew. He lost so much money that he is talking in the 3rd Person to lessen the pain and embarrassment. He lost $0.74, now has negative overall earnings (again), and is squarely in last place overall. My heart.

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Next week is going to be quite interesting! Can MSU pull off another crazy victory and take down Indiana? Can Ohio State please have a full game of good defense? Will Michigan even want to play Wisconsin after they have become a zombie team of COVID super spreaders? Maybe they’ll finally get a win after a forfeit.

Results are below.