Nov 16

Nov 16 Week 10 Results

At the end of the day, your mental health is what’s most important. Make sure to breathe, journal, seek therapy, and reflect on what you are grateful for. On that therapy point, welcome back to the couch MSU and U of M. How does it feel to be 2007 again? John L. Smith is slapping his cheek somewhere, and Rich Rod is sticking his fingers into a socket.

MSU lost to the Big Ten Team of Destiny* by 24. Getting blanked by Indiana at home, in the cold, in November. A recipe normally reserved for a stunning MSU victory under Living Notre-Dame Gargoyle, Mark Dantonio. Give Mel Tucker some time though, he is excellent at recruiting with the big boys, which means, it’s cheatin’ time.

Cheating is something U of M does terribly. I mean all of the “Blue Bloods” cheat, but they normally get at least 1 conference title out of it. Michigan just gets transfers, and pain. A whole lot of pain. Imagine Usain Bolt running in a High School track meet. Not ALL of those kids will quit track for the rest of their lives right after, but they should. Michigan, quit track.

Ohio State iced up so they can face Top Tendiana this coming Saturday. All dreams must come to an end.

* To be determined by Ohio State

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Hey so this is weird, all of our NFL teams won this past weekend. The Browns (BROWNS) beat a hilariously incompetent Houston team. I really enjoyed the win until Baker pulled out that Lil Wayne lyric. Then I LOVED IT (jk it was v cringe). Good win tho, Bake. Way to not totally reek.

THE LIONS WON DESPITE OUR HEAD COUCH’S BEST EFFORT. Scheming the DBs back 10-15 yards most plays isn’t so galaxy brain after all because, hey who woulda guessed, NFL QBs can throw quickly. D’Andre Swift is incredible, and remember, when you need a clutch performance, always count on a Matt to get it done. Prater 🐐.

The Steelers continue to hurt my feelings by winning. Darius Phillips (WMU Icon) hit the IR before the game, otherwise Big Ben would have been in trouble. Will the Steelers go undefeated in the Regular Season? I’ll say 1 (one) nice thing about Big Ben if they do.

We saw two incredible performances this past week. Although Jonathan won TBH, we need to spotlight our player in 2nd place. Kait went 6-4 this week. Completely normal, and barely above average. However, you want to know how much she won? I’ll give you a second. Have your guess? Ok, you’re wrong. She won $1.34 WITHOUT The Big Huge!! I mean c’mon. What a performance. Alright, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Your Week 10 winner is:

Jonathan David Koval

The Terminator of our league has done it once again. Laying waste to us normal, flesh-and-bone weaklings. He won $1.72 and has pushed his Overall lead even further ahead.

In 2nd is Kait! As mentioned above, she won $1.34. Imagine how good Kait would be in this league if her partner wasn’t a CPU with a high-pitched giggle.

In 3rd is Giraffe, CPA! He had another competitive week, winning $0.88 and finishing 6-4. However, like the Browns and Steelers, he is doing better than anticipated, but the Steelers (Kait) are always a few steps ahead. My guy is still #1 in the name game though. Everyone else needs to step it up.

In 4th is Benj! His teams disappoint. His picks go against him. And yet, he prevails. The Whiskey Snob won $0.47 this week! Boosting his Overall status, and giving him 1 extra bright spot this weekend.

In 5th is Chippy Boy. Kevin won $0.20! He also leap-frogged Christopher into 5th Place Overall. What happens when he steals his whiskey powers back from Benj? Probably a rip for the ages, and that’s the thing.

In 6th is me! Yay! I didn’t lose money! A miracle. I won $0.10, and should never side with Michigan ever again. Fucking Lululemon pants.

And in last place, Buster Bronco’s bullying victim, Christopher. He forgot to place his bets this past week smh. Smh…………………….smh. Hope Buster bullies you more.

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We have a Top 10 matchup this week! #3 Ohio State vs #10 Indiana. The Battle for the Big Ten! Give me all of the turnovers. Bless our Secondary. Watch for Marcus Hooker. Dude has better hands than his brother, and Penix LOVES throwing lobs. We all know what the Hooker Special is at Ohio State.

See you in the endzone.

Results are below.