Nov 23

Nov 23 Week 11 Results

What’s up team!? It’s your co-commish on the track this week. If you were wondering how I’m doing without Jonny, it’s been less than 12 hours and I’ve volunteered to help Matthew write the recap out of boredom. RIP NYC, it was fun while it lasted, I guess.

Maryland’s incompetence with controlling the hoax virus probably did everyone a favor this week. COVID infested turtles are scary, but the thought of Maryland having 3 conference wins is scarier. We’re all better off not knowing, especially MSU. Elsewhere in the B1G, Rutgers almost winning things is still concerning. However, Michigan pulled off what we can only call a Comebacknamara!! The Wolverines gave us a thrilling showdown all the way down to the wire. Great entertainment, unless you’re Benj. I would not recommend texting him while his team is in OT.

Our beloved Buckeyes won, but not by enough. Ugh, being a winner is so hard. We knew Indiana would come in hot, but it was not enjoyable to watch Penix raw dog our defense. We’re gonna need some more work before the CFP, but in the meantime, a Top 10 W is a Top 10 W. Thanks for playing, IU. Also, PENN STATE IS 0-5 HAHAHHAAHAHA. HA.

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This week in the NFL:

Taysom Hill is a good *checks notes* quarterback.

My NYC apartment is gone, and so is Joey B’s ACL.

Dawg check. The Browns won! Their best player this week was Carson Wentz. Their second best was Nick Chubb’s meaty forearms. Overall, in true Browns style, it was a slightly above average win.

The Lions. Ouch. That’s all I got.

The Steelers were losing for like…. a few minutes. Don’t roll your eyes, even Mike Tomlin acknowledged that the only perfect thing about his team is their record. 10-0 BABYYYYY. I finally got to watch a game (s/o regional broadcasting BS) and man, this team is stacked. Can someone get me a Claypool jersey for Christmas? Please and thanks.

There’s a lot to be thankful for this week! Jonathan didn’t win, we have movement within the standings, and we all now know how to run a D1 program. The group as a whole made some cash money, but for some of you, I recommend eating your weight in stuffing, drinking a gallon of apple pie moonshine, and trying again next week.

Your week 11 winner is

C SULLY

Sully’s alias this week taught us that he is a god of both futbol and football. He won $0.90 with the help of the Big Huge. The Giraffe has galloped into 2nd place behind the savanna’s top predator, but he could have the style and speed to make a comeback.

In 2nd is Kevin! He won $0.33 and skated his way into 4th place overall. He also avenged his Chippewas by nudging out Christopher. Was he the one in the Buster Bronco costume?? I have a theory.

In 3rd is Christopher! He won $0.20. Thanks for joining us this week, bud! Even if he doesn’t study his lines, improv sometimes does him well. Did I use that term correctly?

In 4th is Kait! Just like Michigan, she barely survived the week, winning $0.01. In line with her typical Big Huge troubles, she picked the right game but the wrong team. She’s gonna have to do better than this if she wants to dethrone her king.

In 5th is Jonny! He lost $0.11. It’s okay Jonny, nobody’s perfect, and a humbled winner is the best kind. With moving phase 1 complete and his gf in West Virginia, he should have a clearer head moving into next week.

In 6th is Benj! He lost $0.51 and we almost lost him. His Tweets were only *slightly* concerning this weekend.

Finishing in last place (again) is Matthew. He lost $0.54 and I’m starting to think this entire league is funded by his debts to WTS. Can someone go check on him?

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Next week should have some laughs in store for us! What’s funnier: saying Illini 3x fast or watching Penn State and Michigan try to play football? Tune in next Saturday to find out.

Results are below.