Season 4 Week 10 (I Hate Turtles Edition)
Welcome to BLOODWEEK everyone. The B1G season is in crisis, as their best shot at the CFP and that sweet nectar of TV Bowl money is sidelined due to the incompetence of others. Fucking Maryland, man. I just want to see Justin Fields embarrass a team with 7 TDs. Is that too much to ask?
Wisconsin is back to playing football, but get to play a very angry U of M team. Maybe they should call in sick again. Either way, that game is going to be peak Big Ten football. A bunch of angry, fat, and slow Midwesterners beating the hell out of each other.
Speaking of Sparty, they have some shiny new helmets! They brought back the Block S, and it’s honestly a great move. They should have brought back the throwback jerseys also, but one thing at a time. Can their helmets garner some good luck against WINDIANA? Probably not. However, when you live by the chaos, you die by the chaos: and both of these teams are chalk full of chaos. Anything is possible in this game. Lombardi throws for 400 yards? Sure. 12 INTs? Also yes. Indiana chokes? You betcha. So many turnovers that it looks like Rugby on the field? Definitely a possibility. Watch this game.
Also, huge shoutout to our favorite MAC School, Western Michigan! They had an incredibly gutsy comeback against Ella’s Toledo Rockets, topped off with maybe the best executed fake spike of all time. MACTION is back, and our nation is better for it.
Alright……….*deep breath*…..it’s time for NFL Football again.
The Browns (B R O W N S) take on the Texans. Houston is such a dumpster fire that even with Baker just now coming off of the Covid/Reserve list, the Browns should win by 72 points. I also still enjoy watching the Browns defense.
For the Lions, we have Kenny G and Hockenson out due to injury just 1 day before the final injury report is released for this week. Trash Bag still thinks he’s the smartest man in the galaxy. Trash Bag gonna Trash Bag. At least our reporters are pushing back harder and harder against his Coach Speak. We play The Team, and Scary Terry will most likely line up against Okudah and boy am I not ready to be hurt by Buckeye on Buckeye crime.
The Steelers. You are good. Nice job. I like Joe Burrow. Please do not break him.
TO THE BETS
This weekend is not starting how we thought it would, but maybe there is a silver lining in there. We can get cozy and relax with a good book, or movie. I will be kicking it on my couch with a soft blanket and some tea, actively pushing down my dark, festering hatred that I feel consume my entire being when someone says “Defensive Genius.” Happy weekend y’all :)
