Season 8 Week 4 (Ya HERD?? Edition)
Summer officially ends this week. My half day Fridays are a distant memory. Normally that means it’s about time for sweater weather (do y’all remember that song btw? Couldn’t escape it in 2013). However, our love for spicy dinosaur goop has caused that season to shift further into November, heck even December. I have cool hoodies and sweatshirts I want to flex, dang it!! But, that also means we get more sunny days. Colorado has 300 days of sunshine. Michigan has like 180. And if you’re a fan of the Carolina Panthers, you have zero.
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SHOWTIME
James Madison vs. North Carolina, Saturday 12:00 pm EST on ACC Network
Your favorite light blue school located atop a hill in North Carolina hosts a school named after a president who is most famous for drafting the Constitution and owning people (yeesh). JMU could give the Tar Heels a bit of a test since they’re pretty good most of the time. But, like, come on guys. I see a comfortable win for the Heels, led by their dynamic rushing attack (again).
Marshall vs. #3 THE Ohio State Buckeyes, Saturday BIG NOON on FOX
How bad is the slate of games this week for this game to be Big Noon? lol. Hey whatever at least the Bucks are back. They better be back to scoring a bajillion points in 10 minutes too. Look for Judkins to go crazy. Look for Jeremiah Smith to go crazy. Look for BIA to go crazy. Look…….we’re really good. Another shutout pretty please? BIG NOONER DEMANDS BLOOD.
Ball State vs. Central Michigan, Saturday 12:00 pm EST on ESPN+
Ball State is coming off a horrendous showing against the Hurricanes. Central didn’t fair much better against the other Miami school. Pretty typical that Midwestern folks go to southern Florida and come back brutalized. Normally it’s via alcohol and boats, other times it’s from the aura of Mr. Worldwide. Ball State wins this one thanks to a special teams gaff by the Chips. Fire ☝🏻.
#11 USC vs. #18 Michigan, Saturday 3:30 pm EST on CBS
Ok listen up. This game is potentially a prime Hate Watch for many people. Lincoln Riley and his fraudulent self brings his program that is DEFINITELY NOT a pig with lipstick on to Ann Arbor to duel with a floundering Michigan. Current season Michigan kinda sorta reminds me of The Man Who Claps era. Talented, a bit spooky at times, but has major issues that are not being addressed properly. If Moore ends up ditching his headset, we’ll know what the path ahead has for him. I think USC is overhyped though. Michigan wins this one.
Michigan State vs. Boston College, Saturday 8:00 pm EST on ACC Network
I don’t think this is a sneaky banger, I think this game is a legit one. Two overperforming teams with nothing to lose this year face off in prime time! The mythical run Bill O’Brien had at OSU has extended into his time at Boston College, and I for one am happy for him. The Spartans could honestly give BC a fight similar to Thermopylae, with a similar ending more than likely unless the Spartan O Line actually hit the weight room recently. Those asses look weak. Do more deadlifts.
Wisconsin-La Crosse vs. #2 GVSU, Saturday 7:00 pm EST
Coming off a stressful Top 25 win, the Lakers look to have a “Get Right” game against an average Wisconsin-La Crosse team. Let’s get back to dominating. Ferris State is soon and I cannot handle a loss to them again this year.
NFL x WTSBETS
Real. Men. Cry.
We saw how hard that loss was on Dan Campbell, but he and the Lions get rewarded by playing a team that’s perfectly constructed to give them trouble. The Cardinals passing game looks dangerous, and our corners still need to improve. A bounce back win would be huge here, and I am keeping the faith (waning a bit with Mr. Goof though). Please don’t hurt us, Marv.
“If my team, or my offensive line, or my judgement, or my arm don’t got me I know god got me.”
The Panthers should get new ownership. Tepper is like the Prometheus pathogen. Nothing survives the horrid mutations that he causes. What a bum. At least Bryce won’t get ground to a fine fine powder by Maxx Crosby now though.
