Season 8 Week 9 (Secret Tunnel Edition)
Have no fear, your guy is back. Abs less visible, but smile much more so. It was one of, if not the, best weekends of my life. Everything went exactly as planned, and even exceeded my expectations.
Huge, huge, huge shout out to Jonathan for making the weekend even more awesome than it already was. I really appreciate you showing us the new scenery in your neighborhood too. The parks, the trees, and the restaurants were all incredible.
I’ll remember this weekend forever and am so glad Ryan Day wasn’t in it.
****
SHOWTIME
All right. Back to being angry at people from New Hampshire.
Nebraska vs. #4 The Ohio State Buckeyes, Saturday BIG NOON on Fox
First time in a long time that the Bucks get a BIG NOONER. And I am #noticing that Urban is back in town right in time to be The Guy again. Soaking up praise about how “he never had these problems” (he did), and watching his hand picked succession hire wriggle about yet again. He’ll say something that is backhanded about Day’s team and then give a wry smile as people pine for his return in the background like Jesus returning to Jerusalem. Although Urban’s palms were never laid in front of him. They were always greased. Buckeyes win in a rather annoying fashion.
North Carolina vs. Virginia, Saturday 12:00 pm EST on The CW
This is a SERIOUS battle of polo shirt fashion with this one. Oh you got on that Virginia Vineyard Vines polo? Well check out this UNC Peter Millar! Nice pull, but I also have a Cavaliers Johnnie O polo. Ah my friend, very respectable, but take a look at this Tar Heels Rhoback polo I have.
Very intense stuff for our “My dad is a lawyer” crowd this weekend. Don’t forget to call your PO about being sober y’all!! That MIP is no joke!
Central Michigan vs. Miami (OH), Saturday 3:00 pm EST on ESPN+
Central gets to face the 2nd best team in the MAC (guess who’s 1st?👀) in their house this weekend. Bad things normally happen when a Michigan team heads to Ohio, so I have no good feelings here. The Chips are already 0-1 against the state of Ohio. After this game, make it 0-2. Another Michigan team screaming “Fire Jim!”
Kent State vs. Western Michigan, Saturday 3:30 pm EST on ESPN+
Kent State is winless this year. Western is 1st in the MAC. Enough said lol. Wonder if they’ll do a running clock in the 2nd Half?
Michigan State Spartans vs. Michigan Wolverines, Saturday 7:30 pm EST on BTN
Did anyone think this game was going to be this juicy this year?? I mean we have real stakes already!
MSU at 4-3 :D
Michigan at 4-3 D:
Things are going to be real interesting if one team in particular loses. MSU is chillin’ if they win or lose, and Michigan may be pushed to the edge if they lose this one. Can Jonathan Smith outwit Mr. Fartindale? Yes, I think he can! But can Chiles also throw MSU out of this game? Yes as well! Sparty also returns to The Tunnel for the first time since The Scandal. Will more tomfoolery happen because of that? How many pearl-clutching thinly veiled racist think pieces can The Blue Wall pump out this time around? Ok. My prediction is as follows. MSU will basically embarrass U of M for 3 quarters, but Michigan gets a few timely stops and wins it in the final minute. 23-20.
#3 Ferris State vs. #1 GVSU, Saturday 7:00 pm EST
It’s another big time rivalry game! It’s the Anchor Bone Classic!! Ferris finally comes to GVSU again and the freaks will be BARKING. This was already a sellout a few weeks ago, but it’s going to be a fully packed house in Allendale. I always loved this game when I was at GVSU. There was just an electricity in the air (and a handle of Heaven Hill in my belly). I may try to go to this one because the stakes have never been higher. This is real deal football folks. Anchor Up!!
NFL x WTSBETS
Titans vs. Lions
Quick rundown for y’all. The Lions have:
The best DB in the NFL (Brian Branch, my liege)
The best White QB in the NFL
The power of The Sun
A Running Back who is doing things even Barry Sanders didn’t do
The baddest bitches
The best OC in football
An insane man as Head Coach
Your Lions are hitting their stride and thensome currently. First in the NFC North (lmfao vikings you fucking losers), projected #1 in the playoffs, and playing mean, strong, scary football. Teams should be afraid of us. We’re on the hunt.
Panthers vs. Broncos
Who do you guys think the Panthers are gonna take with the 1st Overall pick this draft?
Maybe Bo Nix will play like Bo Nix again this game and help the Panthers win? A man can dream. No matter how silly. Sir Purr let me save you.
