Oct 1

Oct 1 Week 5 Results

Commissioner Matthew

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

LET’S GO TIGERS!!!!!

MOTHERFUCKING TIGERS WON AGAIN

LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE RUNDOWN

Ok, gonna propose something to y’all. Who would you rather have on your team right now: Marvin Harrison Jr. or Jeremiah Smith? For OSU fans, it seems like a tough questions lol and boy did JJ make it harder on Saturday. He’s a freak. Totally unbelievable. A phenom. Go Bucks.

Michigan “won”, so the Big Ten had to step in again and make rule changes. What a ridiculous game. Obviously, Minnesota would have needed a perfect drive to tie or win, but….lol. If I’m a Michigan fan (which I am NOT), I would be quite concerned about how the rest of the season shakes out. Could MSU or Indiana be difficult games all of a sudden??

UNC choked away a twenty point lead against Duke. Mack Brown, time to go out to pasture. It’s over my brotha. It’s over.

Western had the most horrific broadcast of all time according to Broadcast Expert, Christopher B. Koval. They also lost. Sad neighs in the chat for Buster.

CMU BEAT SDSU! They were favored but they still gutted out a 1 point win!!! WOW! Re-sign McElwain.

You know the Lakers won again. They also had a blackout night and it went just as well as the Lions’ night. Anchor Up y’all.

NFL

Lions plus MNF and the all blacks equals Get Stomped. The Seahawks were coming into the game saying the Lions were soft?? LMFAO. The only thing soft now is your boy’s skull from the turf bounce. Give him one of those baby helmets. He needs it! Jamo is the fastest man alive. Jared Goff turned into Jesus Christ himself. He can cast the first stone, because he’s perfect. David Montgomery is #CountryStrong. Hutch is the Midwestern Bosa Brother. Super Bowl. Super Bowl.

Also, shoutout to Calvin. I still miss you Megatron, but glad you’re on good terms with the Lions. Greatest WR of all time. Got a dub on your night, and got to see your dunk celebration one last time 🥹.

Panthers played a game on Sunday as well. :/

RESULTS

DON’T LET CHRIS GET HOT!!

Your Week 5 winner is:

Christopher

Two weeks in a row, and for the third time this year! Christopher is harnessing the power of the Tigers right now. What a run he’s on. He’s also gone from 6th Overall all the way up to 2nd and is surging!! He went 7-4 and won $1.82.

In 2nd is Jonny! Better late than never! He was given the Commissioner’s Pardon this week, and no foul play is suspected (well played sir. I tip my cap). He went 5-6 and won $1.22.

In 3rd is Me!! Again! Yippee! The Buckeye Boys ran the table this week, folks. Didn’t need the Big Huge this week either for me (lfg). I am now no longer last in the standings, and that’s a huge win in my book. I went 3-8 and won $0.20.

In 4th is Ethan! Back in 4th, where he belongs. The Most Average Man In The World. He went 4-7 and lost $0.04.

In 5th is Benj. Cracks starting to show? Can he throw a football? He went 4-7 and lost $0.09.

In 6th is Kevin. Not Last!! He went 3-8 and lost $0.16.

🚨 WARNING! MACK BROWN ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 🚨

In 7th is Nick. History was made this week, folks. The Mithril Sombrero. The Chernobyl Diaries of weeks. The Max Steel of finishes. Nick went 0-11. Not a single question right. He also lost $0.39. But somehow, is not last.

In 8th is Hurri Ken (great name this week my brotha). Couldn’t even beat a guy who got all his questions wrong. Yikes. Yikes. He went 2-9 and lost $0.65.

***

Another great week of games this week! Big Ten play in full effect!! Iowa is just Michigan with a passing game!! Wait what???? Good luck to MSU playing Oregon in some DOPE uniforms. Michigan is about to get FISHED. UNC, uh, is one week closer to ending their season!

Welcome to SPOOK TIME.

Results are below!