Season 7 Week 4 (Interstate 90 Edition)
You may ask yourself, did Notre Dame find inspiration for their mascot from Knute Rockne? What with him being Fun Sized and all. Good guess. But no. It’s actually a cool story. They beat the FUCK out of the KKK when they travelled to South Bend for a rally. Like stomped them out, stole their dumbass costumes, and rifled potatoes at them. The football team even got involved. I gotta give ‘em props, it may be the coolest mascot origin story out there.
If you’d like to hear this story told out in hilarious fashion, give this a listen:
Some more light-hearted travelling is occurring this week as well. Bre is taking me to Chicago for my first ever game at Wrigley Field! We’re staying in Wrigleyville and I am very excited to cross this stadium off my list.
Will I see a good game? Who knows! But it’ll be cool all the same. I will also be going to an OSU bar in Chicago to watch the Buckeyes face off against Notre Dame. And I will be writing Ani’s name on my hand so I don’t forget his name AGAIN if I see him.
Me catching a foul ball in a crowd of 6 year olds
SHOWTIME
The perils of man are said to bring strength, wisdom, and courage. One such peril that is the true crucible for any brave soul is travelling to New Jersey. That’s probably why Michigan is asking Rutgers to come to Ann Arbor at noon on Saturday instead. Too scawy. Perilous things happen when an undefeated Rutgers hosts a highly ranked team. So, maybe it’s actually a wise move by Ol’ Jimmy. Probably not though. Coward.
Next, at 1:30 (??) Western travels to the stinkiest city on the Great Lakes to face off against Toledo and the Rockets! Toledo is looking good yet again this year, and may win the MAC with the help of their very fun QB, DeQuan Finn. However, history has shown that arrogance and rockets don’t mix. Good thing Elon isn’t coaching Toledo then, eh?
Then, at 3:30, MSU hosts Maryland. Another good QB against that MSU Secondary! Fun Stuff! I know the German’s have a word for feeling good when something bad happens to another person. But I don’t feel that way (Benj might). I want a word for enjoying watching things go from bad to worse in a comical way. Because it’s hilarious every time the ball is in the air against that MSU defense. Sorry guys.
At 7:30, on CBS, we have our first ranked Big Ten matchup of the year! Iowa. Penn State. I apologize because I have worn my Penn State hat more times than I’ve actually watched them play this year. However, I have only watched Iowa once (and only a little). And if you need to score an extra TD in garbage time to feel better against THIS Western team?? Woof. *Stephen A. Smith voice* HOWEVAH! Penn State struggled against Illinois for quite a bit longer than they should have. This game will be a slobberknocker.
Finally, THE MAIN EVENT!! At 7:30 on NBC, YOUR THEEEE OHIO STATE BUCKEYES take on The Fighting Irish in South Bend! This is a legacy game for many people. Ryan Day needs to show he’s turned a corner with teams that are run heavy with good defenses. He needs to be Georgia Ryan Day in all big games from here on out. Marcus Freeman needs to show that he’s legit. Sam Hartman needs to prove that he’s an elite QB and deserves to be drafted high in the NFL Draft. Kyle McCord needs to just not screw up. The Ohio State defense also needs to show that they are back to being elite, and the most feared defense in the Big Ten. As Eminem said in Cinderella Man, “My filet is smokin’ weed—yeah, the stakes are high!” It should be a fun game, and in no way would OSU losing ruin my little vacation. Don’t be silly.
NFL x WTSBETS
If you guys haven’t gotten into stoicism at this point in your life (or Lions fandom), I would recommend looking into it. Very helpful with handling emotions. Especially when things seem to be caving in around you non-stop. Go Lions.
We can bounce back though! It’s still very early, and I’ll be damned to resign the rest of the season to Kirk Cousins and the Vikings winning the NFC North again. No way. Let’s get a win against the Falcons. Shut up, Christopher.
The Steelers! They look TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE on offense. Matt Canada is a football terrorist confirmed. Is he the Steelers’ Joe Lombardi? If so, I’ll be praying for y’all. Please don’t lose to the Raiders in their giant Roomba.
