Season 7 Week 9 (SPOOKY OOKY Edition)
So, Squarespace unveiled their AI Assistant that can write blurbs, previews, or basically whatever you ask of it. Me, being of the curious sort, decided to test it out for this week’s preview since I am running behind due to life forcing me through a journey of injury and illness that even Dante Alighieri would shudder at.
He may have even died from the illnesses I conquered. Weak boy. Imagine him with bronchitis and having to DoorDash Arby’s. Inferno would have been even more depressing.
Well the AI wrote me a cute little blurb for GVSU Homecoming, and it was pretty good! But for some reason it had no mention of me falling asleep in a pile of cheerios, or passing out like Tom from Tom & Jerry in front of my friend’s parents, or me chugging from a giant Costco salad bowl full of gin, or me getting into a verbal altercation with campus police because my friend wearing a giant pink squid hat broke the law, or me losing a shoe in a marsh and then falling off the top of multiple 10’ fences like I was a piece of jello sliding off the counter. All that to say, it didn’t have any FEELING to it. No personality.
Happy Homecoming, y’all!
SHOWTIME
Also, Happy Halloween! I hope things aren’t too spooky for our favorite teams this weekend. Haven’t really been paying attention to the news lately, but I’m sure I’m not missing anything.
Ok, first up! Penn State gets to beat up on Indiana after a classic in Columbus! On Halloween Weekend, Penn State will likely look the best they’ve looked all year. But since they aren’t facing their own proverbial monster under the bed like most years, they’ll actually win.
Also at noon, we have Western versus Eastern. Broncos versus Eagles. West Michigan versus East Michigan. If that was the actual matchup, West Michigan wipes the floor with ‘em. I don’t give a shit about your italian stone mansions #LakeLife. WMU wins and covers.
Then, at 3:30, MSU travels to Minnesota in another fun non-football matchup. Better mascot, Goldy or Sparty? Sorry Sparty bros, but I’m going Goldy here all the way. He’s Goldy bitch.
On prime time, *Gus Johnson voice* “THE WORLD FAMOUS OHIO STATE BUCKEYES HA HAAAA” play Wisconsin in Camp Randall. Am I nervous? A bit, sure. Luke Fickell is a tremendous coach, and his LB coach is the winningest coach in GVSU history. But, Trey Henderson is back finally thank god and we also have of course…Maserati Marv. Go Bucks.
For Homecoming, GVSU hosts Michigan Tech. Fuck you Ethan!!!! Your school may be way better academically, but you’re nerds! NERD! Counterpoint, what is this dumbass logo?
Columbia goes to the spookiest, and most secret society-ish school in the country, Yale!! They did JFK, 9/11, the Colombian Drug Trade, Miami, Vietnam, etc. So, why can’t they orchestrate a good football season? Who’s to say. Yale wins though.
NFL x WTSBETS
Wow, ya know the Steelers are such a cool football team. Great city, great uniforms, great coach, great history. Pittsburgh is one of my favorite cities to visit also! The culture, the Church Brewery, Wiz Khalifa, Mac Miller, the gigantic cemeteries that take up 30% of the city. Also, can’t forget the Pittsburgh Potties in each basement. What a fascinating and wonderful place. Go ’lers!
The Lions host THA RAIDAHS on 🎶DUN DUN DUN DUN, DUHduh DUHduh 🎶. I love being on MNF, and hopefully we can bounce back from that shameful and shocking performance against the Ravens. We’re still a spooky team!!
