Season 7 Week 8 (I'm A Big Chicken Edition)
My first big Halloween party is this weekend, so of course that means we’re playing Penn State! I can never watch this game under normal circumstances. However, it may be a good luck charm because the only time I actually sat down and watched this game in the past 10 years was in 2016. So. Yeah. Also, I am very excited to unveil my costume this year! It’s a throwback!
Also also
It’s RIVALRY WEEK!!!! (For some).
And I thought, what better way to kick it off than to hear from our league members who are closest to these rivalries!! (One is a “rivalry”).
Enjoy.
I am going as a chicken once again. My legacy
SHOWTIME
From Kait McDougal, Person of Intrigue
In the words of James Franklin himself: You've got to do whatever you possibly can to give yourself a chance, number one, to be undefeated at the end of the season. Some teams subscribe to this philosophy, and other teams take your quotes completely out of context.
This week, Kait’s #7 Nittany Lions put the 1-0 mantra to the test for the first time this season. After dropping in the rankings following a 63-0 obliteration of UMass, Penn Staters have faced reality: it doesn’t matter unless we beat Ohio State. Can Drew Allar and company pull the upset in Columbus? Probably not, someone get me a beer.
From Ben Koval, The Beguiling Voice
Say something nice Ben, say something nice. Uh, MSU has one of the best veterinarian programs in the country. Hands down.
Ok, got that out of the way.
It is officially rivalry week in East Lansing. The battle for Paul Bunyan. Big Brother vs. Little Brother. Sparty vs. U of M. I want to be petty. I want to be so incredibly petty and dance on the grave of Sparty (yes, guys, it’s over already), but I won’t. I have watched this game and THE GAME™ at the end of November to know that when it comes to rivalry week, you throw the records out. No other game matters this week for Michigan and MSU. Michigan has looked the best I have seen them in a long time. We are a complete team and we are very, very deep on defense. Is our O-Line struggling a bit? Perhaps. Are the phone lines at MSU a little too open? Probably. The Wolverines have had their share of slow starts this year. But just like any 5.0 liter V8 Caprice Classic, that baby is purring after about a quarter and a half…I mean 20 minutes. JJ continues to look like a Heisman Candidate and a backup quarterback all at the same time. So who knows what we see this weekend! I am hopeful that Donovan Edwards gets to shine against one the most putrid MSU “teams” I have ever watched. My boy needs it. Let’s all behave ourselves in the tunnel this year, ok?
Grab a cold pint of milk, motherfuckers. Game on.
From Nick Bruewer, Man of Many Faces
There are not enough words to convey my feelings on this year’s MSU team. If you want to see what happens when you mix incompetence, arrogance, complacency and overpaid staff; just watch the numerous coaching errors soon to be displayed. I feel terrible for the players. The boos they will hear in the coming weeks, while being blown out at home, are or should be meant for the coaches. But, unfortunately some players may assume it’s towards them. And then they will enter the portal. And I will be sad. (If you made it to this point please send me a photo of something that makes you happy in the chat)
Oh, before I forget, fuck you, Mel Tucker! I’m curious where in your 51 page book? Novel? Propaganda piece? about your “brand” is this mess you created, covered? Is it under the “Laugh all the way to the bank” section? Also, Ross Els welcome to your new job as the Horrocks cashier. Jay Johnson congratulations on being named the Offensive Coordinator of the Earlham University Hustlin’ Quakers. And Scott Hazelton! Welcome to being an air traffic controller! I’m sure with your experience of leaving wide open spaces through the air, you will be just fine.
Sorry! Sorry! I got carried away there.
Now to the game. This isn’t going to be close. (Yay having two weddings Saturday after all?!)This MSU team should be 4-2 and confident. Instead they’re 2-4 and have blown late leads their last two games. So don’t look at their record and say they have a hard time beating teams. They are doing just fine in beating themselves!
(If you’re STILL(?!) reading this please send me a photo of something you hate in the chat)
Michigan might be the best team in the country. MSU is not. There will be talk of Michigan wanting to run up the score and I believe they will! So yeah there’s no need to watch this game unless you’re a Michigan fan or a masochist. Go see Killers of the Flower Moon instead. It will be a better use of 3.5 hours of your day. Besides, there’s never been a scenario where MSU was a more than three touchdown underdog, against Michigan, the week after an humiliating defeat to Rutgers.
I guess I should end this to get on to more important things. So Ben, let me be the first to congratulate you on your easy - WHOA HE HAS TROUBLE WITH THE ENDING OF THIS BLOG.
NFL x WTSBETS
Quoth the Raven “No, Lamar.”
