This past weekend was much better than the previous few for me (from a personal life perspective anyway)! I ventured back home to Lansing to celebrate my dad. And while I was there, Big Salad caught me in its clutches once again. Horrocks and their darn delicious salad bar that costs $9.99/lb. I think I paid almost $40 for 2 salads. A little bit of perspective here for our big city folks: adjusted for Cost of Living, that’s like going to Sweetgreen 5 times in a day. Worth it? You bet your money losing butt, pal.

Bre: Matthew what did you spend our rent money on at Horrocks Saturday?

Me hiding a 5 pound salad behind my back: Definitely not an unnecessarily large salad haha :D

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THE RUNDOWN

Since Ohio State had a Week 3 bye (grumpy patrick emoji) I was paying attention to a lot of other Big Ten teams on Saturday. Here are my observations:

• Michigan State has been fun to watch, but the fun ends here unfortunately. No longer favored in any remaining games. Maybe Nick Carter can channel his namesake and help MSU become Larger Than Life.

• Indiana is good?? They look…..DANGEROUS??

• Michigan, what’s that smell?

• Oregon finally woke up :/

• It’s looking hashtag not good for Wisconsin

• Iowa has a better offense than the defending champs

Michigan was never going to lose to The Coward Butch Jones. But man, the Wolverines kinda look like Logan near the end of the movie with the same name? Did the thing that made them special also poison them too?

MSU feasted on a team far worse than GVSU, and they looked great. 40-0 is 40-0, but their real tests start soon. Chiles and Marsh are still the future.

Central beat the spread against Illinois!! Fire up boys, we’re not a total embarrassment as of yet.

Western needs to return to EAT or else I fear they are doomed to struggle against every single team they face. At least they won this week though.

Kind of mean to beat up on the weird kid next door, UNC. What did they ever do to you?

GVSU almost choked away a 17 point lead. What are we, James Franklin?

NFL

Sunday was more An Extremely Goofy Movie than I would have ever liked. The bros sitting behind my dad and I were speaking the truth the whole game though. Why sign a kicker with a huge leg if we are never gonna use him from that distance? Also, no, we were playing the Buccaneers. Not the Buckeyes nor the Fuckeyes. Also, Hutch is the best Edge in the NFL? But I thought his arms were too short to play in the league!!!!1!

Kenneth, I hope you can find peace with your NFL fandom. At some point the Panthers have to pull themselves out of this pit. But it won’t be Bryce Young seeing as he’s 5’2”.

RESULTS

This post is brought to you by Watch Watch

Your Week 3 winner is:

Kevin

Mr. Ice On My Wrist did it! After a disastrous start to the season, Kevin made a massive rebound this week! He’s no longer even last in the Overall Standings! The definition of a heater. He went 7-3 and won $1.57.

It’s a Chip thing you wouldn’t understand!! In 2nd is Nick! Maybe his fantasy football teams sucked, but his bets sure didn’t. He went 6-4 and won $1.13.

In 3rd is Jonny! Would be nice to hear from you sometime, brotha! He went 4-6 and won $0.95 without the Big Huge. What a smartypants.

In 4th is Ethan for the 3rd week in a row! LMFAO. What does it mean? Is he aggressively average this year, or is this just called consistency without flashiness? The Kirk Cousins of WTSBETS if you will? He went 4-6 and won $0.86.

In 5th is Benj! He’s not doing as well as last year, but he’s finding a way to remain relevant each week. Go Blue. He went 6-4 and won $0.55.

In 6th is Christopher! A lucky finish, or savvy bet placements this week? You be the judge. He went 3-7 and won $0.06.

🚨 WARNING! DONOVAN EDWARDS VISION ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 🚨

In 7th is Me, Myself, and I. I got heartburn from a salad. I went 4-6 and lost $0.49.

In 8th is Kenneth. Keep posting through it big fella, you got this!! He went 1-9 and lost $0.99.

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The Bucks are back this week! Michigan faces a scary(?) USC! MSU faces Buttchin BOB. And UNC plays JMU! Should be a pretty fun weekend of games to be honest!

Results are below!