Well, it’s as expected for the first week of the season: Great expectations followed by subpar play on the field, yet almost everyone wins comfortably. Who could have seen this coming? Other than the entire history of college football?

I’m overreacting for a rational reason this time, dang it! This time it’s real!

We are all the way back. What a year we have in store.

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Aren’t we glad we all have extra frustration and stress back in our lives thanks to 18-23 year-old athletes??

But they also provide incredible moments, which is fun. It’s extremely fun to watch Jeremiah Smith already. Barely 18 and had 6 catches for 92 yards and 2 TDs in his Ohio State debut! He’s insane. How does Hartline do it man? The Buckeyes ended up winning rather comfortably against Akron, and that defense looks GOOOOOD. Cannot say the same for the offensive line (again). Justin Frye will be turned into the FBI soon. Everything else looked elite. Go Bucks.

Michigan finally pulled away from Fresno State in the 4th Quarter thanks to their defense and a rather nonchalant pick 6 by Will Johnson. They still don’t know what they have in their offensive line nor QB. Next week against Texas will be interesting! Will be a fun (not even close for Benj) game to watch I’m sure.

MSU looked ______????? Not really sure what to make of the Spartans on Friday. Some promising elements (Chiles will still be good, Secondary already kinda better), and then some obvious issues. It is really funny to me that as soon as the career DB coach got fired as head coach, the secondary got better immediately. Hilarious lol. The Spartans should have a whelming season.

The Tars Heels waltzed into Huntington Bank Stadium and stole all of PJ’s oars. It took a walk-off missed FG by the Gophers, and Max Johnson had to sacrifice his leg, but they got it done! Omarion Hampton is the truth too. He will be really fun to watch this year.

CMU decimated a CC. And while they aren’t actually a community college, the Blue Devils played like one. Hot start for the Chips, who had a lot of big plays and fun playmakers. Will they shake up the MAC this year? Anything is possible.

Speaking of shaking things up, how ‘bout them Broncos?? Their super jacked head coach had them boys ready to rock against Wisconsin. I haven’t seen a white bronco this dangerous since 1994! If only they could have slipped away like 1994 during that fateful punt and special teams gaff. So close to an upset, but done in by their own had. C’est la vie.

RESULTS

History repeats eh?

Rinse, repeat. Your Week 1 winner is:

Jonathan

Jonny may have ignored his alma mater to go do some New England traveling, but they were loyal to him and helped him bag a 7-3 record and win $1.75. The more things change…

In 2nd is Benj! He went 6-4 and was the only other person besides Jonny to hit the Big Huge, winning $1.45. Going for 60% is good for him, and for Michigan QB play apparently!

In 3rd, with a VERY impressive debut, is Kenneth! He talks a WHOLE LOT of shit, but he backed it up and then some this week. Without winning the Big Huge, he went 8-2 (8-1 in regular bets) and won $1.30. On this Hill indeed.

In 4th is the other (temporary) Carolina Boy, Ethan! No cares in the world while chillin’ on a beach for a week, and it showed. Ethan went a breezy 6-4 and won $0.42. Good start for him this year. Will it be as breezy now that he’s back in Michigan? TBD.

In 5th is Nick! The other maximum chiller of our league had a hell of a Week 1. He went 7-3 and won $0.28! Up or down from here? He’ll definitely let you know, but if it’s anything like our CFB25 dynasty, it’s up.

🚨 WARNING! JUSTIN FRYE COACHING ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 🚨

In 6th is Christopher. Maybe play Kenneth in CFB25 or your game of choice to try to get revenge? Or maybe just take a walk. He went 3-7 and lost $0.38.

In 7th is your ever-grumpy Commissioner. I was a bit overzealous with my picks this week, and I should never have faith in a Ryan Day team <internal screaming>. I went 3-7 and lost $0.75.

In 8th is our CMU Mega Booster, Kevn. He won’t be a mega booster for long if this trend continues. He went 2-8 and lost $1.05.

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Week 2 is gonna be a heater!! Michigan versus Texas as our headliner too! And guess what, I have a wedding to go to and I’m grumpy about it!! Not just because of football but because I don’t want to see people I don’t like!! Say a prayer and I’ll see y’all next week.

Results are below!