Written by Ben Koval
WTS Bets Department of Production

This weekend was a blast. I surprised the commissioner in Chicago on Friday night and we got things rolling the right way. Great food, awesome drinks, and better company. A vibe all around.

As I drove home from Chicago at 5am the following morning and watched the sunrise over the city, I suddenly found myself very pensive. I felt like JJ as he meditated in his giant cringe of a shirt (Jimmy is already providing the memes, we don’t need more) underneath the goal post. I had a moment of clarity. A vision if you will. I saw it, I saw the day Kirk Ferentz no longer is the head coach of Iowa. Sometimes you just need to unplug. And drink a shitload of coffee as you drive 3.5 hours home.

Speaking of unplugging, I think Ryan Day might need a moment or two under the goalposts. But hey, you tell him, you tell that 86-year-old man who can’t even get out of his chair or speak a complete sentence. You really showed him. Congrats, man, you’re a big tough guy.

Editor’s Note: It is good and fun to talk your shit when people call you out over and over again. College football needs more of what Ryan Day did. Not less. Let your haters have it.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes got into a rock fight with the Fighting Irish. I don’t really know what to say about this game. Both of those defenses look pretty solid. Or maybe both of these offenses just aren’t that good? A lot of conservative play calling (surprised face) and some interesting QB play on both sides. However, at the end of the day, the Buckeyes took care of business. Maybe make sure you have 11 guys on the field ND. Mr. Day might want to start checking his blood pressure. Also, feed Marv.

Michigan allowed a very nice 69-yard touchdown on the first drive of the game, and then completely curb-stomped the Scarlet Knights the rest of the way. Mike Sainristil is looking like one of the best nickels in the country. What a sweet pick-6. Blake Corum did Blake Corum things, and Rutgers decided that they should leave Donovan Edwards wide open down the sideline. Offense still is leaving me wanting more, however. Gonna go meditate on that.

Penn State absolutely disemboweled Iowa. Oh, but did you know that Cade McNamara has a bruised quad? That’s why they didn’t score a single point and allowed 31. Who knew!  Iowa is an absolutely unserious program, man. I just can’t believe that they can roll teams out on that field since 1993 and get the same result every year.

CMU pulled off a nice win against Southern Alabama. They somehow won despite allowing more yards in every category. Good job guys!

The legend of Dequan Finn prevails once again as the Broncos took a beating in the Glass City.

MSU *Fart noises* I am actually starting to feel bad for Sparty at this point. Woof.

NFL

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I have never seen a Lions team play this good. I have NEVER seen them collect 7 sacks in a game and not allow a single touchdown??? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? Brian Branch is an absolute dude and turned Bijan into stone ground mustard.

The Steelers actually won! Despite Matt Canada’s best efforts. You know what they say, if you aren't succeeding after 3 years, give the man a promotion! That’ll work! Please give Najee the ball more, I need those fantasy points.

RESULTS

Uh oh.

Your Week 4 winner is:

Jonathan

Mr. Michelin himself is back at #1. Even though his correct responses matched the Michelin Star Restaurants we visited this past weekend (2) he still somehow won. Buckeyes are back. All of them. He went 2-7-1 and won $0.28.

In 2nd is Kait! She was not fooled by Matthew’s birthday posts this past weekend, nor by the questions asked about football. She went 4-5-1 and won $0.23.

In 3rd is Matthew! Amazing weekend. No complaints. Can’t win ‘em all but you can win the girlfriend lottery. He went 3-6-1 and lost $0.05.

Tying for 4th (it happened again in back-to-back weeks??) are Ethan and Benj! Although Ethan went 3-6-1 and Benjamin went 2-7-1, they both lost $0.10! Ethan is smarter, but Benj is better with money.

In 6th is Christopher. I could basically CTRL+C CTRL+V last week’s blurb for him because yikes he done goofed yet again. He went 1-8-1 and lost $0.12.

In 7th is Nick. Maybe we should actually talk about things other than football. He went 3-6-1 and lost $0.13.

🚨 WARNING! DENVER BRONCOS ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! 🚨

In 8th is Kevin. Again. Kevin also STILL has the best overall record this year lol but he just can’t seem to get the betting part right. At least some of those parlays are hitting though. He went 3-6-1 and lost $0.65.

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Week 5 is a little less action packed. Ohio State is on a bye (for the best. Get Marv healthy). Penn State and Michigan go on the road to commit murder maybe never seen before on a football field. MSU and Iowa play in primetime for some reason. But, we used to love watching crimes against humanity after dinner growing up, so here we go again. The MAC Boys have 2 tough games against conference semi-rivals, so that might be interesting. It’s still football though, so rack one and crack one!

Results are below!