Nobody panic

Things are fine

Yes of course your favorite team is good. Don’t worry about it

No, it’s just early season rust, they’ll turn into CFP contenders in no time

No, see they just weren’t trying hard cuz they didn’t want to. They’ll try hard when they need to for sure

They’re just bored!!

They’re just trying a bunch of fun stuff to put it on tape!

It was a weird matchup, and it’s just an anomaly!

MSU STOP HUFFING FEBREZE!!

****

We are now a quarter of the way through the regular season! And I know some fans are sad to see the season go by so quickly. While others wish we could just sim the rest of the year at this point. There’s always next year, I yell as they wheel me back into my padded cell.

Very glad that the living horror that is the Hilltopper mascot is no longer around. We know that Rufus the Bobcat can beat up Brutus. So, I don’t even want to know what devilry Big Red would subject Brutus to. Thankfully, Big Red can’t defend the run or the pass. At all. Everything is going McCording to plan so far. I’ll see myself out.

Penn State roughed up the Illini for a little while. But also dragged their feet a bit (a theme for this weekend). If only Illinois could do anything right.

Our beloved Broncos were, unfortunately, the first team to let Iowa get past the 25 point threshold this season. They cooked the books a bit with this one. Will this be the game that actually saves Brian Ferentz? Signs point to maybe.

Speaking of OCs, maybe the Wolverines should get tips from Iowa on how to score points on a MAC team. JJ was doing his best Cade McNamara impression out there against BGSU. While Corum was doing his best 2022 Blake Corum impression as well.

Maybe one day MSU will reinstitute football. That would be fun for them I bet.

Central put the fear of god into Notre Dame for approximately 5 minutes. At least the Irish did a better job converting with these Chippewas than what history had showed us.

Columbia looks about as good as you would expect a bunch of nerds to be at football. Can you Nepo Baby your way to a good football team??

GVSU did the thing. Good job guys. Still won’t actually give you money though.

NFL

GOD WHYYYYY. WHY GIVE ME HOPE?? It hurts so much worse when I have hope! Yes, of course I’ll be back on the hype train by 8:00AM Monday morning. Don’t be silly.

Tough one for our Lions but we’ll bounce back. We should also maybe cover their WRs next time too. That’s an idea.

RESULTS

Well hello there.

Your Week 3 winner is:

Matthew

That’s right. It’s better to be lucky (and handsome) than good. And I am neither (I am handsome) most of the time, but I’ll take a dub this week for sure. Thank you Western Kentucky for giving up a bunch of points so I could win a bunch of money. I went 2-8 and won $0.93.

In 2nd is Nick! You can stop murdering footballs via stabbing now, because something good did happen to you regarding football! Nick please put the knife down, you’re scaring the dog. He went 2-8 and won $0.79.

In 3rd is Benj! He won the same amount as the point differential for his favorite team! Definitely a lot and definitely not anything to be worried about! He went 2-8 and won $0.25.

🚨 WARNING! MSU SECONDARY ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! 🚨

Tying for 4th are Jonathan and Kait! How cute. They both went 2-8 and lost $0.05.

In 6th is Christopher. Complete opposite week compared to Week 2. Really tough. Maybe go steal that Falcons helmet to take your mind off things. He went 1-9 and lost $0.26.

In 7th is Ethan. Maybe try a darkness retreat to clear your mind? He went 3-7 and lost $0.30.

In 8th is Kevin. I may just need to send a “thinking of you” gift basket down to the suburbs of Indianapolis at this point. Kevin got the most questions right out of anyone this week, and STILL lost the most money. At least he had some good wine over the weekend I’m sure. He went 4-6 and lost $0.61.

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Week 4 has IOWA versus PENN STATE! This game will end 7-6 almost guaranteed!! We also have Notre Dame vs. Ohio State in South Bend! Can the Buckeyes show that they are legit! Or will another win make them slide back in the AP Poll even further?? Maybe we should almost lose to USF, or Wyoming, or Boston College! Then we’d be a REAL Top 4 team.

I am a bit nervous for this game though. Notre Dame is pretty good and Kyle McCord is very inexperienced. I’d be happy with a win on the back of our defense here.

Results are below!