Has anyone actually thought about what life would be like if our National Bird was the Turkey, like Ben Franklin intended? Imagine all the tattoos that beer loving, red blooded americans have of eagles that would be turkeys instead. Would we run a turkey out onto the field during the national anthem? Just have that fat sucker waddle at the speed of sound across the 50 yard line? Would American Eagle be called American Turkey?? Instead of being scary, we’d be juicy?

Makes you think.

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Starting off by saying FUCK YOU FERRIS WE OWN YOU!!! COPE LOSERS! FERRIS STATE? MORE LIKE FERRIS STANK!! GVSU is off to face an even harder opponent but I have faith! ANCHOR UP! GET WET!!

Ohio State whooped PJ Fleck and his Gophers. Glad we got out of that one with no real concerns. Kyle, you better be ready buddy.

MSU got another win!! They’re not worse than Indiana!! New coach soon too! Nice!

Penn State did indeed get that bounce back win. Extend Franklin!!

Western got absolutely smeckledorphed by Northern Illinois. They did not EAT :(

Mr. Bruewer has bragging rights again this year. The Bobcats sonned the Chips in Athens.

COLUMBIAAAAA!!!! They’re 3-7 now! Let’s goooooooo.

NFL

NEVER A DOUBT FOR YOUR LIONS! DAN CAMPBELL GREATEST WHITE MAN IN HISTORY!! GET JUSTIN FIELDS OUT OF CHICAGO! KEEP MARV AWAY FROM THEM! EAT SHIT BEARS, YOU BUMS!!! KINGS OF THE NORTH MOFOS!!!

Big Thanos got the better of TJ Watt yet again. I also love that the Browns win when The Nasty Man is out. He doesn’t deserve happiness. Good thing he lives in Cleveland now. Pittsburgh still a better city.

RESULTS

LOTR BOYS STAND UP!

Your Week 12 winner is:

Kevin

Twice this year!! Is that a record for him? Kevin had a killer week. If the Big Huge was taken away from everyone, he still would have won. What a performance. Much better than his football teams. He went 6-4 and won $1.10!

In 2nd is the other LOTR Boy, Benjamin! He also had a great week. Maryland may have scared him, but Week 12’s questions sure didn’t. HE went 4-6 and won $1.05.

In 3rd it’s a tie between the REAL Commissioner and the FAKE Commissioner! Kait and I had an eerily similar week. Maybe not the best for her, because being like me will get you in trouble. We both went 3-7 and won $0.95.

🚨 WARNING! JIM HARBAUGH BRAIN CELL ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 🚨

In 5th is Nick. Nothing matters anymore, shitpost away. He went 3-7 and lost $0.01.

In 6th is Jonathan. I heard [prospective company] has been having a [sub-optimal PE example] as of late. Hope it’s not rubbing off on anyone. He went 3-7 and lost $0.03.

In 7th is Ethan. Reach out some time! Hermit went 4-6 and lost $0.12.

In 8th is Christopher. South in geographic location, and in the weekly standings. Yikers. He went 1-9 and lost $0.24.

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HATE WEEK IS UPON US! THANKSGIVING! THE LIONS ARE FAVORED!! WOLVERINES ARE LOW DOWN AND DIRTY! LET’S RIGHT WRONGS. AVENGE WHAT WAS STOLEN. BENJ WILL NEED A NEW SQUAD TO CHEER ON ONCE THEY GET THE DEATH PENALTY!

Results are below!