I may have moved to a town that put a curse on me long ago. Not quite sure why, but Grand Rapids has some weird juju and a lot of it is attracted to me. Maybe it was Halloween. Maybe it was Homecoming, but Bobert came out over the weekend for the first time in a while. What a life I live.

I love cocktail bars though, and they’re making me go bankrupt through fun and games.

****

Hey Penn State, can you at least attempt to look good for the rest of the season please? Indiana isn’t even good, come on! Nice gritty win at home against the Big Ten though!!

Ohio State didn’t really struggle, but Kyle McCord looks less than polished thanks to his terrible Offensive Line, and his ankle injury. Good thing he throws it to Heisman Winner, Marvin Harrison Jr. Also, TreVeyon Henderson is the best RB in the Big Ten when healthy.

MSU my god. At least basketball has started, and Urban will be your next coach.

Western KILLED Eastern. Honestly a bit of a surprise. But it was the first true EAT of the year! Nice!

Central played last night, and did ok I heard! Not stressful for Kevin nor Nick I’m sure.

I may have been a bit too mean to Ethan about Michigan Tech in the chat while I was morphing into Bobert. Sorry man. GVSU is a machine though. Please, PLEASE win something this year.

NFL

Nice try, Steelers! You guys are a team in the NFL!

RESTORE THE ROAR

LIONS, BITCH

SEE YA JOSH. HEY AT LEAST YOU’RE ONLY THE 2ND WORST RAIDERS COACH FIRED FOR WEARING A VISOR.

RESULTS

Lady and gentlemen, this is what the power of the ‘stache is capable of.

Your Week 9 winner is:

Kevin

When the college football world is turned upside down, ours follows suit! Massive win for Kevin this week! First dub of the season. But, with such a huge swing, I’m wondering if Kevin saw this coming? Do you own a CMU hat and Ray Bans?? Get him!! Kevin went 4-6 and won $1.17.

In 2nd is Jonathan! The man in the shadows - Shadow Man if you will - keeps silently moving closer and closer to 1st place. He went 5-5 and won $0.99.

In 3rd is Benjamin! Probably a super boring week for him. At least he put his energy here! He went 3-7 and won $0.85.

In 4th is Kait! Now that she’s no longer in Pittsburgh, she’s doing well again. Coincidence? She went 3-7 and won $0.46.

In 5th is Nick! He live, laugh, loved his way to a good week! He went 3-7 and won $0.16.

In 6th is Ethan! The truest good week of anyone! Didn’t need the Big Huge to win money! He knows ball! Hire him, Tech! He went 5-5 and won $0.11.

In 7th is Christopher. I think he’s the only person to do this multiple times, but it’s impressive each time. He won nothing again. But also lost nothing. He went 4-6 and “won” $0.00.

🚨 WARNING! TARDY COMMISSIONER ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! 🚨

In 8th is me. Tough week all around. This is what I get for being busy smh. Nothing else should come before the league, and now I know better. Sorry Bre, I’m in a relationship with a spreadsheet. I went 3-7 and lost $0.03.

***

Week 10 is probably coming at you today as well! Great timing on all of this, me. But, Week 10 has a chance to be a little interesting! Some trappy games on the menu for a lot of our teams!

Results are below!