It was really nice to go home to Lansing for a few days before the weekend kicked off. I got to see my mentor, our dog Leo, some of my family, and catch a horrible case of bronchitis. Appreciate it, Meghan. Love having a sister. Oh, and I bought a salad from Horrocks that cost more than a bottle of Eagle Rare. But, it was worth it. Big Salad has me in its clutches.

****

Ok, so I know Benjamin wants to be ultra petty. Like super mega ridiculously petty. And has he earned it? Some would say yes. Why? Well because MSU fans have had quite a time being petty to him over the past 15 years. But Michigan decimated the Spartans to take firm control of the rivalry again. I don’t have a dog in this fight, so I won’t say anything drastic. But, looks like the Spartans don’t have any dogs either.

Ohio State might have the best defense in the country? Ohio State might have the best defense in the country. The offense has more growing to do outside of MASERATI MARV, but the 2002 vibes are STRONG! Also, Mr. Franklin, condolences on your first FRANKLINING of the year.

Western lost a close one to a good Ohio team. EAT is on hiatus ever since they stopped making good graphics. Come on guys.

Central lost to a school named after a jar. Legit. Look it up.

Columbia lost a tough one to Dartmouth. Seems like their scores are reminiscent to the days before the forward pass. Iowa and them would get along swimmingly.

GVSU!!! You guys know the story of Carthage and the Roman Empire? This happened in football form up north. Go Lakers.

NFL

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Lamar Jackson is still a MVP candidate because he just did that to the NFL’s 3rd best Defense. Yep. I am coping. But we are still good! Positivity!

The Steelers gritted out a controversial win against Stafford and the Rams! I am acknowledging Pittsburgh. Nice win guys. I’ll include y’all next week.

RESULTS

Some mid-season chaos 👀

Your Week 8 winner is:

Nick

Worst football weekend ever? Maybe, yeah. But he got his first win here!! Very significant silver lining in my opinion. He went 2-7-1 and lost $0.20.

Yes, you read that right, the winner this week LOST money. Buckle up.

🚨 WARNING! LIONS SECONDARY ZONE AHEAD!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! 🚨

In 2nd is The Commissioner! I am very sick. But gambling has made me feel better (it hasn’t). I went 3-6-1 and lost $0.27.

In 3rd is a tie between Jonathan and Kait! Hmmm, curious. This happened again. WIth the exact same results. If you guys are colluding, you could at least be good at it. They both went 2-7-1 and lost $0.29.

In 5th is Ethan. I’m glad this is his distraction from reality. But maybe he should let it distract him more, because…he went 2-7-1 and lost $0.35.

In 6th is Christopher. The Curse of The Joey Jersey strikes a second time this Sunday. He went 1-8-1 and lost $0.50.

In 7th is Kevin. Not last again! Two week streak! That’s about as positive as I can get. He went 1-8-1 and lost $0.51.

In 8th is Benj. If Michigan played like Benj the past few weeks, they’d be Rutgers. But, somehow, they’re both still in 1st!! Benj went 1-8-1 and lost $0.52.

***

More spoopiness next weekend! Will I make it to my other Halloween party? Will MSU upset Minnesota? I can’t believe that is actually a real thing at this point. Maybe Minnesota will put Pol Pot on their jumbotron.

Results are below!