So my weekend in Happy Valley was both a hoot and a holler. PSU is a very fun school, and there are way more interesting things to see than you might expect. For example, within a 24 hour timeframe, I saw the following:

• A middle age man stick his hand down the back of a woman’s pants (in front of everyone)

• A sorority girl’s entire butt because she thought the sidewalk was a good place to start twerking

• A ✨ majestic ✨ hill

• A RV’s transmission spitting flames and almost catching the entire thing on fire next to our tailgate

• Two of Beaver Stadium’s bathrooms flooding while I was standing in line to pee

• Kait and Jonathan

I gotta hand it to Kait because her school is not boring, her friends are cool, and the tailgate was an awesome time. Now if only their football team could be as awesome.

(also shout out to Jonny for his NFL practice squad flex, ifykyk)

(also also shout out to Me for being called a Flip Cup Assassin)

****

Wanna know which team IS awesome though? That’s right, it’s the Michigan State Spar— wait hold on. Ok information coming in now is saying they are AWFUL. My bad. Easy misunderstanding. MSU got their teeth kicked in yet again, losing 34-7 to Minnesota and PJ Fleck. Tuck coming for that buyout.

Michigan very narrowly escaped the terrifying jaws of Testudo and the Maryland Terrapins. Will a battle tested U of M be able to handle the abyssal Iowa defense next week?

Your Nittany Lions were given quite a fight (for like 20 minutes) by CMU, and I thank them for making it somewhat interesting.

Western got whooped, spanked, decimated, smeckldophed by the SJSU Spartans. Hey look the Spartans DID win on Saturday!!!

Your THE Ohio State Buckeyes only scored on 8 of their 12 offensive drives against a not great Wisconsin. Is Ryan Day on the hot seat??

#2 GVSU won in a blowout yet again! Beating Detroit’s Wayne State 48-9. Please let us beat Ferris this year.

NFL Time

Well

That sucked

How do we let Kirk Cousins beat us damnit?!?!?!? Why are we so injured already?? Dan Campbell whyyyyyyyy make some of those decisions? I am unwell. At least Jeff Okudah is still ballin out of control.

In a game where neither team really wanted to be there, the Cleveland Browns yawned to a dub over Trubisky and the Steelers.

RESULTS

It could only last for so long right? This is in no way a turning point back into despair right? Lord if you’re out there.

Your Week 4 winner is:

Jonny

The Year of The Chris is over, The Year of Jon has come. All it took was a late night train ride, and submitting his bets within 30 seconds at 1am. He went 4-5-1 and won $0.81!

In 2nd is Kait! *Insert 2nd Place Kait Joke here*. Hm I wonder where she ranks in the Overall 🤔? She went 4-5-1 and won $0.33.

In 3rd is Me! Skating along somehow doing well while also answering the least amount of questions correctly each week lmao. I went 3-6-1 and won $0.23.

In 4th is Christopher! Still in the black this week, but only a Top 4 finish. The Bama in him should be pissed. He went 4-5-1 and won $0.19.

In 5th is Sully! This was certainly one of his finishes of all time. He went 4-5-1 and lost $0.03.

In 6th is Benj! Happy birthday dude you lost money!! He went 4-5-1 and lost $0.06.

In 7th is Kevin. If God don’t got me, I know [Kevin Bottom 2 Finish] got me. So consistent. He went 3-6-1 and lost $0.06.

In Last Place is Nick! Can I get an OOF in the chat? Tough week to be a Chip. He went 3-6-1 and lost $0.14

***

On the road once again! Week 5 takes us to Columbus, Ohio where Jonny, Christopher, (maybe Kait c’mon), and I will join our relatives from Illinois and watch Buttger in The Shoe! Can’t wait!

Results are below!