Wow what a weekend. We all thought next weekend was going to give us palpitations, but Week 12 said “Not so fast!!” Like seriously, it was the definition of "Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” Cold as hell, several reeling opponents, and a huge rivalry weekend on the horizon. What could go wrong? Nothing, stop asking questions.

Benj and I had a very, very fun Saturday at the Big House. While the Wolverines struggled to escape with a win against Illinois, I did enjoy listening to all the fans stress out over every run play that went for 2 or -1 yards. It was super enjoyable!! Also gosh dang was it cold. But that’s the Big Ten baby!! Cold, trudging, and predictable! Never disappoints!

Unlike a certain National Soccer squad.

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Hey do you guys recall when Western played Central in an incredible (but eventually boring) snow bowl?? Yeah that was still this past week lol. Broncos Country!! Let’s ride!!! Broncos country, let’s ride.

Nothing significant happened when Ohio State played. An easy win by several scores, yet again. Stop asking questions.

The previously referenced Wolverines snagged another win to stay undefeated. Illinois was a worthy opponent, but was no real threat. I SAID STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

Huh, that’s odd. Says here the Spartans didn’t play on Saturday? Hold on I was just handed a note…”No further questions”. Ok. Hope the Spartans enjoyed their bye before playing for The Land Grant Trophy!!

Penn State did unspeakable things to poor ol’ Rutgers. Atrocities? Against the Geneva Convention? Well that’s just their deutsch heritage presenting itself.

NFL

THREE DUBS IN A ROW!!! THEY CALL THAT A WINNING STREAK!! KIRBY JOSEPH!! AIDAN HUTCHINSON!!! IN THE HUNT FOR THE PLAYOFFS. FUCK A DRAFT PICK. POUR UP THAT KOOL-AID.

Steelers :| it’s still Go ‘Lers though apparently.

Brons because they’re receding and have no W’s

RESULTS

Y’all ain’t gonna believe this.

It has happened. Finally. After what feels like ages. He hath returned.

Glory unto he who watches

Your Week 12 winner is:

Kevin

KEVIN FUCKING POHL!!!!!!

HE DID IT! Can I get a LETS GOOOOOO in the chat??? He went 3-7 and won $0.31!

In 2nd is Kait!! Beyond parody. She went 4-6 (oof) and won $0.02.

In 3rd is Jonny! Knock Knock he’s still here. Can he snag a 5th title? If not it’ll be the first ring his girlfriend has seen to date.

In 4th is Nick! Still a better result than Tuck. He went 3-7 and lost $0.15.

In 5th is Christopher! Didn’t do great, but who cares Broncos beat the Chips! He went 4-6 and lost $0.19.

🚨 WARNING! RICH ROD ZONE AHEAD 🚨

In 6th is Benj. He used literally all of his luck to will the Wolverines to victory. At least it worked. He went 2-8 and lost $0.40.

In 7th is yours truly. RIP to any hopes of finishing in the Top 3 this season. I went 2-8 and lost $0.53.

ERROR 404 ETHAN NOT FOUND (Penalty of -$0.54)

ERROR 404 SULLY NOT FOUND (Penalty of -$0.54)

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I couldn’t be happier to see everyone over the Thanksgiving holiday! But boy the anxiety couldn’t be higher!

FUCK THE WOLVERINES. LITERALLY THE SKUNK BEARS. GROSS. SELL BEER IN THE BIG HOUSE YOU LOSERS. GET BETTER SEATING. OH LOOK 2 INCH WIDE “SEATS” NOW WE HAVE THE LARGEST CAPICITY IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL 🙄🙄🙄🙄 TRY TO HAVE A SUCCEFUL ERA WHEN LADIES CAN ACTUALLY VOTE. WHAT’S THE TIE BETWEEN SEGREGATION AND WOLVERINE FOOTBALL? THEY WERE BOTH WILDLY SUCCESSFUL IN THE 1940’s.

NO 13TH LETTER WAS USED FOR THIS RECAP. LIGHT WORK

Results are below!